Every morning I wake up rather early to feed little Reagan. I dream of going back to bed, but I can’t bring myself to do it. As much as I love sleep, the morning hours have been too beautiful to pass up.
I enjoy my first cup of coffee the best. The way it warms and awakens. I enjoy lighting my vanilla scented candle and sitting in the dark with a rosary in hand. It is romantic and quite frankly a miracle. A miracle that I am praying the rosary everyday. A miracle that my heart is searching desperately for a relationship with Christ. It is a miracle.
On Thursday’s I look forward to writing a blog post to share with you guys. I typically pray the rosary and read some spiritual book and wait to be inspired. There is no shortage of inspiration. My posts are geared to helping anyone who has any hint of a longing for Christ. I always hope to encourage someone to just begin, wherever they are and however far they’ve fallen. I, too, am a beginner.
Today, I am at a loss for words. The inspiration is endless but my ability to write it down is another issue. My heart is sort of dancing, smiling, giddy. I find it hard to explain anything that is going on inside of me. The one thing I keep coming back to is that it is a complete miracle.
So, I know from the moment of my Baptism the Holy Spirit has graciously and persistently pursued me. I am here, writing this today, because I have been pursued. I am racking my brain for beautiful and inspiring words but all I know to say is that God is recklessly pursuing you.
If you put everything aside, your pride, your vanity, your shame, guilt, whatever, you will still find a patient, loving God pursuing you and begging you to love Him and maybe even more so, begging you to accept His love. Because at the end of the day a heart united to Christ is the most incredible gift of the Holy Spirit. It’s the one thing we should be chasing with all our might. I promise I will never stop chasing after it.
And I’d also like to say that it is hard. Hard to take the first step, but just as hard to take each subsequent step. That’s why it is a miracle. That any of us come to know Christ, or even come to desire Him, is a beautiful miracle. He is a God of miracles.
So, after reading and praying and thinking. My mind, with all it’s limitations, is grasping for any sort of words to form and share. But here I am, speechless, talking about my delicious cup of coffee and delightful vanilla scented candle, because that’s all my mind can put into words.
God loves you. I could say it till I’m blue in the face and you may never understand the weight of those words. But, if you take them on faith and take them to Christ, He will show you. You are so very loved.