All my perfectly laid plans and routines had finally fallen into place. I was thriving in the zone of productivity and pursuit, my heart ready and energized to be and do more. It was wonderful, perfect even. I had time for all the things I wanted to do. I had
I watched the little signs of my failure as a wife and mother collect in piles of clutter scattered around our house. I stared at the many ways I couldn’t help, the many ways my strength was failing, and the many ways I allowed myself to succumb to my misery. I was no match for the task at hand. But in a single moment, I found myself freed from the chains I had been slowly placing on myself. My worth has and never will be defined by success, accomplishments, or productivity.
It’s terribly freeing to accept such mercy. To accept help and admit weakness. To release the failures and focus on love. My cluttered house does not make for an unhappy family because they are loved in all the other ways I can love them right now. My lack of productivity in spiritual pursuits does not make for an unhappy God because he is happy to meet me in my weakness. And my own unhappiness is released with a breath of fresh air in the realization that my little efforts are enough, and those around me love me beyond what I can give them in return.
There is one thing that I rest all my hope on, and that is that when we are suffering God is closer than ever. When we are struggling our families step up to fill the gaps. When we are unable to give as much as before true love shows its face in the form of mercy and compassion. And I relish the opportunity to step back and rediscover my worth in the very weakness of my being. That is why there is joy in suffering – not because we enjoy suffering but because our weakness reminds us of His love.
I vow to step out of my misery. To release the chains of expectation I’ve placed on myself. And to let God and those around me love me through all my weakness. I have found that it’s no good to grow saddened and disheartened in a season of difficulty but instead
You ask me whether I am in good spirits. How could I not be, so long as my trust in God gives me strength. We must always be cheerful. Sadness should be banished from all Christian souls. For suffering is a far different thing from sadness, which is the worst disease of all. It is almost always caused by lack of Faith. But the purpose for which we have been created shows us the path along which we should go, perhaps strewn with many thorns, but not a sad path. Even in the midst of intense suffering it is one of joy.Blessed Pier Giorgio Frassati