After Holy Communion, my soul was again flooded with God’s Love. I rejoiced in His greatness. Here, I see distinctly His will, which I am to carry out, and at the same time my own weaknesses and misery; I see how I can do nothing without His help.” St. Faustina
My gaze caught the Crucifix beaming majestically above the Tabernacle. I stared tenderly into the eyes of Jesus nailed to the cross. For a moment, I could imagine that I am truly about to receive Christ as a living sacrifice through the bread and wine. My thoughts fluttered briefly around the concept of this great mystery. I realized how much I have failed in truly receiving Christ. How much I have taken this routine for granted. On Sundays, I receive communion, but rarely do I have the strength of faith to deeply, and truly believe I am receiving the Blood and Body of Christ.
As I ponder my Catholicism and my lack of belief in this beautiful mystery, I realize the gravity of this shortcoming. But I remember His Mercy and His Grace. I remember that to receive such an overwhelming gift of Body and Blood I must first ask Christ for the graces to do so. As I stared into the sad eyes of Jesus on the crucifix I prayed for a change of heart. I prayed for understanding and acceptance of His most Holy gift. The words “Lord, I am not worthy that you should enter under my roof, but only say the words and my soul shall be healed” rang like an epiphany through my ears.
My focus was quickly broken by slaps to the face from Cooper. His tired eyes told me he only had so much left in him before he was going to completely lose it. I rocked and swayed with intensity as I looked back up at the Cross.
I am so thankful that Jesus said, “do this in remembrance of me” all those years ago. I am so thankful that he not only gave up His life for us, but He gave us a tangible means of consuming His love so that we may have eternal life. In the humility of His sacrifice, He comes to us in the form of bread and wine each time we step into the Church for mass. And as we sit in Adoration before the Tabernacle, we are in the physical presence of our most Holy God.
I pray God gives us the strength and faith necessary to receive communion with a deep conviction that we are consuming Jesus Christ himself. That we are being filled up to the brim as He enters our souls and goes to work in our lives. May we live out the peace and love that only He can fill us with.