Catholic on purpose

little moments full of grace

A Letter to My First Baby

I’ve wrapped you up and held you close for a year and a half now. Time seems in a hurry to pass us by, quickly changing day by day, season by season, but it has been the greatest joy to watch you grow. And as you lay sleeping in my arms I can already feel the heartache of future me longing for these days back. So, I promise you, my precious child, I’m soaking up every ounce of these little moments. 

You didn’t want to go to sleep tonight. As I laid you down in your crib you stood up instantly with streaming tears. I walked out the door and just stood there. Everything I’ve read has told me to let you cry it out so I thought about it for a moment, but I will only be able to rock you in my arms for so much longer. We sat in your dark room, the sound machine buzzing in the background and we just rocked.

I watched your eyelids grow heavy and listened to the hushed sound of your breathing. I never knew it until I met you but those little breaths are the most beautiful sound, the sound of life. As you were dozing off your sweet hands reached for my hair – one of your favorite things. And you stroked it gently (for the most part) until your hands fell by your side in a deep slumber. I laid you down, asleep in your crib, and quietly snook out. It brings me so much joy to hold you close like that.

Our worlds are going to change in the next few months, and you don’t quite understand that yet. Your little sister is growing more and more every day, preparing for her big debut. You help me sing her songs and read her books. You help me fight through the exhaustion of creating new life. You help me appreciate all the blessings God has sent down on us. Watching you become a big brother will bring me so much joy, but for now, it’s just me and you. And I love that just as much.

So thank you for letting me hold you close and play with you. Thank you for having scrambled eggs with me in the morning and saying “cheers” while I drink my coffee and you drink your milk. Thank you for rubbing my hair and dancing in the kitchen with me. Thank you for running around in your diaper and snowboots. I will be so happy to tell you about all the good days we’ve had together as you were growing up!

And when the time comes for us to welcome your little sister into the world, please know I love you just the same as I always have.

3 Replies to “A Letter to My First Baby”

  • Tears of love and joy! A beautiful picture painted by a lovely young woman/mom.

    The moments are fresh in your mind and they will be memories that last for a long time, but they may fade a little as life becomes more hectic with two little ones (and a dog) running through the house. One thing that WILL NEVER fade is the love you have for each and every child that will grow in your womb. It’s obvious how much you cherish new life and the love that you share with everyone. So glad that my son and God had a hand in making you my precious daughter-in-law and the mother of my grandchildren! Blessings to you!!

  • You brought back memories that I haven’t thought of for sometime. I thank you for that. Sipping on my coffee today I will take the time to reminisce back to the 70’s and my special times with them. You are one lovely woman. God Bless and I cannot wait to grab my coffe cup!

  • I remember holding you and thinking, this is pure joy. We have our precious children for a brief moment and then our Grandchildren and we can’t imagine loving any more than this. Then a Great Grandchild comes along and you know God has blessed us more than we can imagine?

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *